Labor 101

The pain began quickly. The girls and I began labeling our taxi experiences by the driving/driver. Over the trip, we had the singer, smoothy, weaver. Our taxi driver to the Guangzhou airport was a weaver. And tailgater. And frequent stopper/ starter. By 10 minutes into the drive I needed my sea bands. Usually I only need those for the planes. Luckily they worked and we made it to the airport intact. We set off inside the airport to find our check in counter. Found it easy enough. Line wasn't too bad. Got to the clerk. He gave a funny look at the computer, and handed our passports back. Said to call ticket agent. Um, tickets bought online and are etickets. He said there was a problem. Not confirmed. I quickly pulled out the confirmation, and asked that a supervisor come over. Showed the confirmation. We seemed to be getting somewhere. Three boarding passes were printed out and five passports handed back. He then said, "these ones cannot go". Um what? I looked and it was Katelyn and Lianna's passports which had no boarding passes. I showed our ticket confirmation again. Was I seriously being told my two children could not go on the flight, despite the confirmation? Apparently yes. Mama bear came out. I was MAD. Yes, the flight was full ( probably over full) but I would NOT allow my children to be bumped. After an hour, all of us had our boarding passes. Seats not together. I figured people would move. Nope. Mia, on her second flight ever, had to sit behind me. Fortunately, she fell asleep for most of the flight, and only whimpered for the last 15 minutes or so. And at least I could stick my face between the seats and she could see me.
Our overnight in Shanghai was uneventful. We stayed about 15 minutes from the Pudong airport. Arrived at the airport 4 hours before our flight the next day. I hoped to be the first to check in at United/Continental. We were second. We had an awesome ticket clerk who had no problems printing all boarding passes. However, no seats were together again. I can't figure out how people get seat assignments so early! He said not to worry, he would alert the gate crew so we could be together. Thank God for this travel mercy. I cannot imagine flying 13+ hours with my girls spread out all over the plane. When we got to the gate, the wonderful clerk gave us two seats together, and another two together, with one person in between. I prayed this person would change seats. As we ventured to our seats, we found out we had bulkhead seats! Oh, the extra space. And the man sitting in between us smiled and said he would switch seats with me, so I could have 4 seats together. And the man on the other side of Mia had a daughter adopted from China in 2003. He was so gracious as she slept with her feet on his chest, and reminisced about how his daughter screamed the entire flight back to the US. With the exception of one very minor tantrum which lasted less than 2 minutes, Mia either watched cartoons on the personal screen or slept.
It was so, so good to land in Chicago and have Mia become the latest US citizen. Immigration officials were pleasant and welcoming. They took our big brown envelope, and congratulated me.
For our final flight, we were again seated scattered around the plane. And once again, the ticket clerk had mercy and put three seats together in the bulkhead. The other two seats (for my mom and Katelyn) were a few rows behind us. We were all exhausted and slept this last leg of the travel until arriving in Boston.
So now, the labor is over. We are home. We are jet lagged and feel like we have been hit by the weaver taxi driver. But we are home. The labor was worth it. And we are home. Home with our sweet girl. It feels so good.

Heading home!

Later today, we will begin our long trek home. I am more than ready, although have some dread over the travel to come. Don't get me wrong, I love China with all my heart. It is why I have come each year for the past 8 years to volunteer my skills as a pediatric OT in the orphanages of Guangxi. But the adoption trips are MUCH different. These trips are hard. It is labor. And the flight home can be torture.
I have strategically planned for an overnight flight (China time overnight). Instead of flying from Hong Kong as most families do (which leave around 10:00am), we leave from Shanghai. Our flight time is 5:00pm. We will head to Shanghai later today and stay overnight, with the flight back to the US tomorrow. I am just praying Mia sleeps. She has a real hard time falling asleep at night. Sometimes it takes an hour. Yesterday, even without a nap, it took 45 minutes. Luckily there are the personal TV's for each seat on the flight. Mia likes the TV to sleep to. When I turn it off, she climbs up to it to turn it on. None of us are used to falling asleep to a TV. She will be in for a shock when we get home and discovers there is not a TV in the bedroom. I will not back down on that one either.
Yesterday was an interesting adventure to the mall due to another rainy day. We discovered Papa Johns, which tastes just like it does in the US. There is something about giant sized objects here in China. Our waitress asked me if we wanted a "baby chair" for Mia. Yes. She comes back with the "baby chair" which my dad could fit in. Seriously, it was enormous. The only difference between it and an adult chair was that it was about 6 inches higher and had a wooden bar across the front. When Mia sat with her back against the back rest, she was 2 feet from the table. I wish I had my camera with me. It was the funniest high chair I have ever seen.
There was only one tantrum yesterday which was over.....candy. Lianna's candy. Which Mia wanted. It didn't matter that she finished hers and that Lianna offered her some of what she had. She wanted the whole package for herself. Um I said no. She shrieked. People's heads whipped around and everyone glared at what I was doing to this sweet, innocent, little one. A woman came over to speak to her. She continued to scream. Poor Lianna was ready to just give her the M&Ms to which I told her no way. Mia needs to unlearn that tantrums get her what she wants. We were told that she was often given what she wanted if she tantrummed when she was in the orphanage. She's learned this skill to get her needs met. But now it is time to unlearn this. So, we ignored her tantrum and the stares of everyone else in the mall. I picked here up and told her I know it is hard when she wants something. The tantrum stopped. Lianna shared some M&Ms and everyone was happy again.
So today we are preparing to leave our beloved China. It is time. We are ready. Let the adventure begin!

Rainy Guangzhou

This was the first day of rain we have had since arriving in China. It rained all day, although was still pretty mild. We decided to go out despite the rain, since hotel confinement is quite boring to both adults and kids. Each room is equipped with an umbrella, which comes in handy on days like today. We also asked the concierge for an extra umbrella, given that there are five of us including Nana. The concierge has the largest umbrellas we have ever seen. Made Mary Poppins umbrella flight seem possible given the right wind conditions. We decided to venture across the busy street by using a people overpass, stroller, umbrellas, and all. On the other side of the street was a large friendship store which we quickly walked past. We then stumbled upon a Trust Mart, which seemed like a Wal Mart knock off. We needed bottled water, and the trusty Trust Mart seemed to be the best place to look for it. As we walked through the doors it quickly became apparent that this experience could resemble our Nanning senior market experience. Vats of noodles everywhere. Candy everywhere. Appealing children toys everywhere. There was no turning back, we were already inside and my little one's eyes were wide. She spied some type of dried fruit. Runs to it, and comes running back to me holding up her one little finger and telling me in Chinese, "only one Mama". Could this be too good to be true?? She sees some dried chicken feet (which we learned at breakfast that she loves), I tell her in English, "not today" and she happily walks on by. This continued through the store. Some things she wanted, which seemed reasonable so I said yes, and she only took one. Or she got three, and gave one to each of her sisters. What? Was I dreaming? No. My girl is settling in. She is understanding a simple shopping experience and what it means.
Later this afternoon, Mia and I ventured back to the US consulate to pick up her "big brown envelope" which goes to the immigration officer when we arrive on US soil in Chicago on Friday. We also have her visa, which allows her to enter the country. As far as both countries are concerned, the adoption is complete. After 7 months, Mia is mine. She is no longer an orphan waiting for a family. She has her family and her family has her. All I can do is give thanks to the One who made this all possible...who led me to become a mother for the third time...and who asked me to trust in Him to make my path straight.

Paperwork done!

Today, at our consulate appointment, the final paperwork for Mia's adoption was submitted for the US govt. Tomorrow, she will receive her visa to enter the US and becomes a US citizen automatically when we touch down after the long flight from Shanghai to Chicago. It seems hard to believe that the paper chase for this adoption is done! It is a good feeling.
Mia had a bit of a breakthrough today. Maybe we all did. After coming back from the consulate, she took her second bath of the day. It was 10:30 am. When finished, she spotted her carefully hidden bathing suit. The girl has hawk eyes. She excitedly comes out with it, however, the other girls wanted lunch. There would be no way for a quick swim. I told her no, we needed to go for lunch. She gave the familiar stomp and hmmm, refusing to move her little feet. The older girls went into the hallway. My mom started practicing her yoga moves in the hall. I mentioned that I might need to get her, which would result in a tantrum. My mom reminded me that the tantrums ar much shorter now. Mia looked at me and closed the bedroom door. After giving her a minute, I opened the door slowly, figuring i would get the tantrum over with. But, this sweet little one had taken her bathing suit off and put her dress on. In was shocked. What I thought would be a battle turned into an amazing moment as she wrapped her little arms around me. I told her we would swim after lunch, which she seemed to understand. And off we went for lunch.
So to say that my little one is doing well is an understatement. Adoption trips are not easy. Living in hotels, figuring out communication (especially with an older child), and trying to establish a routine and consistency to help ease the new child's fear is next to impossible. The child comes to the adoptive family losing EVERYTHING she has ever known. She has every right to be scared, mad, and sad. Adoption trips are about surviving. And yet, Mia is joyful most of the time now. She wants a hug when she is upset. She puts her little hand against the elevator door until everyone is in. She offers her food to her sisters. And today, despite her desire to swim, she changed her clothes when she realized her family wanted to eat.
This special little one has completely stolen my heart. The US is gaining one amazing new citizen with little Mia!!!!

Safari park day

Today we decided to venture to the safari park here in Guangzhou. I have heard a lot about it, all positive and highly recommended. We looked for a taxi outside our hotel, trying to find one without a TV playing in the back seat as Miss Mia has the tendency towards carsickness. Luckily, we found one with a broken TV and were on our way only to find out that we had a special singing driver! He sang to us most of the way to the park. Mostly in Chinese, although he did do a rendition of Barney "I love you, you love me". That was a bit odd.
The safari park was all that others have said. Absolutely amazing. It is the best "zoo" experience I have ever had. Mia loved the monkeys, quickly repeating that English word over and over. Monkeys hanging and playing from trees. They looked so happy. I liked the kangaroos, especially the one mama who carried her baby head first in her pouch so that the tail and hind legs were the part sticking out. Every once in while it would kick it's legs but never did end up righting itself while we were there. The other really fun part was riding the train through the safari wilderness. It was nothing like we've ever experienced.
Mia did exceptionally well at the park. No tantrums over food. Only one minor meltdown when she was told she couldn't climb up on a fence after watching another boy do it. She seems to be understanding more English and continues to talk to us in Chinese as if we understand everything.
We clearly are very under dressed when compared to the locals here. It was 90 degrees today and most had on long sleeves and long pants. Ok, maybe it was 88. We, on the other hand, are sporting our summer dresses. Even Mia will not put on her sweater anymore which I diligently carry around. We get lots of stares, which I know is not only because I am Caucasian walking around with three gorgeous Chinese girls. It is because of the lack of clothing on their bodies!
Mia continues to love her bath play, much to my relief after coming back from the safari park. Sunday at the safari park proved to be very, very busy! And Mia is not a huge fan of purell. This could be a bit of a problem for me, given my love of the stuff, especially when in public places. She has been watching the rest of us slathering in it, but has yet to put her hands out. She doesn't mind the germ x wipes I had brought, but I am down to the last few of those.
Our time in China is passing so quickly. It is hard to believe we will head home in 5 days. Mia's medical examination went well, including the TB test which is required for all children over age 2. She protested briefly, and then seemed happy that the nurse offered candy. I am not sure it would have gone as well if she offered her a banana after the injection. The test proved to be negative and we now have all of the necessary papers to give to the adoption unit here in Guangzhou. Tomorrow we will head to the US consulate for the final processing of the
US phase of the adoption so that she will automatically become a US citizen when we touch down in Chicago.
When we began this process back in April it was hard to picture this day, at the safari park, bring stared at for our under dressing, as I walked around with the three most goregous little girls in the world.

In Guangzhou

We have made it to Guangzhou and it feels like a completely new experience. We are staying in luxury, as in platinum five star luxury. Nothing like I have ever experienced. This is the Garden Hotel which my agency places families in as they wait for the US consulate appointment. Back in 2002 when I adopted Katelyn, the hotel of choice for adopting families was the White Swan. The Garden makes the White Swan look like a simple 3 star hotel. Luckily there are other adoptive families here as I worry that a stray marker mark would tarnish the hotel appearance.
Mia handled her first airport experience like a champ. Of course, our flight from Nanning to Guangzhou was delayed. We arrived at the airport with 30 minutes before takeoff only to find that there was some type of "air traffic" problem. Delayed for one hour. Dinner time. Newly adopted child, obsessed with food, prone to tantrums. But God is good and vats of noodles were everywhere along with boiling water. Mia was in her glory. We chose a vat of noodles, prepared it, only to find that she wanted the red vat of noodles. We bought the green vat. But, I have learned that there is no sense reasoning with the child who wants the red vat noodles. I decided to spend the 50 cents to get the red vat. No tantrums, happy child.
Mia found security in her stroller in the airport. She rides in the stroller with her shoes off. Each time she needed to go to the bathroom, she would happily put her shoes on only to remove them again as she climbed back in. I have used strollers before through airports when my older girls were younger. It is nice to bring them right to the doorway of the plane, and then have it waiting when leaving the flight. So, we head down to the plane, Mia gets out, causes a line as she sits down to put her shoes on. We get ready to go on board, and I ask the attendant where to leave the stroller. He gestures to bring it on the plane. What? Yes, wheel it on the plane. We find our seats and the flight attendant helps to put it under our feet. So, we all buckle up, put our bags under the seat in front of us, and put the stoller under our feet. The flight itself was uneventful except for the fact that Mia does not like seat belts. She has never used them before. She humored us all for about 20 minutes before deciding it needed to come off. Luckily, the flight attendants came by frequently and made sure it stayed on. Also, I think the 10 pieces of gum helped. We discovered she loves gum. The good sugarless gum we brought from home. If she began to fuss about the seatbelt, I would quickly pull out the gum and she would forget about the seatbelt. Now we cannot even say the word gum as she knows what it means.
We are settled in this fancy hotel for the next week, before making the trek home. I think I will need to find some more gum!

Mia musings

We've now been in Nanning for a week, and head to Guangzhou tonight for the next phase of the adoption. Mia has been with us for 6 days now. It is hard to picture our lives before her. She has jumped right in and hasn't looked back.
Mia loves water. I mean, LOVES water. When we are in the room, she loves to play in the bathtub. She can play with water for hours, mixing bath salts, soaps, and shampoos into cups as if she is doing some type of scientific experiment. She is fearless in the pool, and clearly wants to swim just as her big sisters.
Mia loves food. She eats just about everything, although does have strong preferences, mostly towards candy. We've managed to be out in public and walk by candy stalls without the loud shrieking which happened last week. Along with her love of candy, she LOVES brushing her teeth. Her top three front teeth have visible cavities, so I think her dentist will be happy with the joy she seems to receive with toothbrushing. It makes me feel less guilty for slipping her a piece of candy when she starts the familiar wind up for a tantrum.
Most mornings she says "che fan" which means eat something. If we are still getting ready and she needs to wait, I will offer her a piece of fruit or bread. She will strongly protest. Yet, when we are downstairs for breakfast, she will head over to the fruit and take the same fruit she saw just a few minutes ago. Interesting.
She is quickly learning turn taking. The first few days, if she saw the iPad it would immediately result in a rip out of the hands of whoever was holding it. Now, she can be told "wait" and she will wait for a turn! I love seeing these small strides towards living in a family with two other sisters.
Mia loves Ni Hao Kai Lan. We tried showing her the Little Einsteins for a little variety which resulted in a protest. Right now, Kai Lan is even trumping the Pleasant Goat cartoon which is a favorite of all kids in China.
Mia sleeps well. Thank you God. She will take toys with her to bed, and often fall asleep holding them. The other night, she brought both a
ball and balloon to hold. It was not all that comfortable when I rolled over that ball in the middle of the night! Luckily, I did not roll over the balloon.
I know many attachment gurus would probably cringe at this but yesterday we started using a stroller. I carried her the first 5 days
everywhere. Yesterday, I started thinking about the airport adventure of later today. Somehow, I do not think it will be humanly possible to
get through the airport to carry her and handle all of our carry on luggage which must include all of her snacks. I will be lucky if the airport
staff does not make me check the snack bag due to the sheer weight of all I will bring for her.
In many ways I feel like I am parenting a child about two years younger than her stated age of 5. Many other adoptive parents will know exactly what I mean. Mia is the size of a three year old and has most developmental skills typical of a child that age too. I am perfectly fine with this. It gives me the chance to parent her at this younger age. Tantrums and all. Speaking of tantrums, they have continued. Although not at the frequency of those first few days. She is figuring us out, and keeping a routine (at least as much as possible while living in a hotel with three kids) helps. Most of the time, her tantrums are not long. At times, distraction will work. Other times, even her shoes come flying! We are all developing some quick reflexes and keeping a sense of humor. We are really having a lot of fun. Mia has a smile that will light up the room and eyes that have reflected pure joy. And her laugh, oh that laugh, should be bottled up and sold. It is so, so cute. And infectious.
As we prepare to leave Guangxi I cannot help but feel it is so bittersweet. My greatest blessings were all born in this place, lived in this place. My family was created in this place. And yet it is time to prepare to go home. In Guangzhou, Mia will have her consulate appointment to become an official US citizen. It is the final leg of our adoption trip. I am ready to get home and begin the new chapter of my life with my new family, but I know as we leave Guangxi later today, a piece of my heart will remain.