We have made it to Guangzhou and it feels like a completely new experience. We are staying in luxury, as in platinum five star luxury. Nothing like I have ever experienced. This is the Garden Hotel which my agency places families in as they wait for the US consulate appointment. Back in 2002 when I adopted Katelyn, the hotel of choice for adopting families was the White Swan. The Garden makes the White Swan look like a simple 3 star hotel. Luckily there are other adoptive families here as I worry that a stray marker mark would tarnish the hotel appearance.
Mia handled her first airport experience like a champ. Of course, our flight from Nanning to Guangzhou was delayed. We arrived at the airport with 30 minutes before takeoff only to find that there was some type of "air traffic" problem. Delayed for one hour. Dinner time. Newly adopted child, obsessed with food, prone to tantrums. But God is good and vats of noodles were everywhere along with boiling water. Mia was in her glory. We chose a vat of noodles, prepared it, only to find that she wanted the red vat of noodles. We bought the green vat. But, I have learned that there is no sense reasoning with the child who wants the red vat noodles. I decided to spend the 50 cents to get the red vat. No tantrums, happy child.
Mia found security in her stroller in the airport. She rides in the stroller with her shoes off. Each time she needed to go to the bathroom, she would happily put her shoes on only to remove them again as she climbed back in. I have used strollers before through airports when my older girls were younger. It is nice to bring them right to the doorway of the plane, and then have it waiting when leaving the flight. So, we head down to the plane, Mia gets out, causes a line as she sits down to put her shoes on. We get ready to go on board, and I ask the attendant where to leave the stroller. He gestures to bring it on the plane. What? Yes, wheel it on the plane. We find our seats and the flight attendant helps to put it under our feet. So, we all buckle up, put our bags under the seat in front of us, and put the stoller under our feet. The flight itself was uneventful except for the fact that Mia does not like seat belts. She has never used them before. She humored us all for about 20 minutes before deciding it needed to come off. Luckily, the flight attendants came by frequently and made sure it stayed on. Also, I think the 10 pieces of gum helped. We discovered she loves gum. The good sugarless gum we brought from home. If she began to fuss about the seatbelt, I would quickly pull out the gum and she would forget about the seatbelt. Now we cannot even say the word gum as she knows what it means.
We are settled in this fancy hotel for the next week, before making the trek home. I think I will need to find some more gum!
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Mia musings
We've now been in Nanning for a week, and head to Guangzhou tonight for the next phase of the adoption. Mia has been with us for 6 days now. It is hard to picture our lives before her. She has jumped right in and hasn't looked back.
Mia loves water. I mean, LOVES water. When we are in the room, she loves to play in the bathtub. She can play with water for hours, mixing bath salts, soaps, and shampoos into cups as if she is doing some type of scientific experiment. She is fearless in the pool, and clearly wants to swim just as her big sisters.
Mia loves food. She eats just about everything, although does have strong preferences, mostly towards candy. We've managed to be out in public and walk by candy stalls without the loud shrieking which happened last week. Along with her love of candy, she LOVES brushing her teeth. Her top three front teeth have visible cavities, so I think her dentist will be happy with the joy she seems to receive with toothbrushing. It makes me feel less guilty for slipping her a piece of candy when she starts the familiar wind up for a tantrum.
Most mornings she says "che fan" which means eat something. If we are still getting ready and she needs to wait, I will offer her a piece of fruit or bread. She will strongly protest. Yet, when we are downstairs for breakfast, she will head over to the fruit and take the same fruit she saw just a few minutes ago. Interesting.
She is quickly learning turn taking. The first few days, if she saw the iPad it would immediately result in a rip out of the hands of whoever was holding it. Now, she can be told "wait" and she will wait for a turn! I love seeing these small strides towards living in a family with two other sisters.
Mia loves Ni Hao Kai Lan. We tried showing her the Little Einsteins for a little variety which resulted in a protest. Right now, Kai Lan is even trumping the Pleasant Goat cartoon which is a favorite of all kids in China.
Mia sleeps well. Thank you God. She will take toys with her to bed, and often fall asleep holding them. The other night, she brought both a
ball and balloon to hold. It was not all that comfortable when I rolled over that ball in the middle of the night! Luckily, I did not roll over the balloon.
I know many attachment gurus would probably cringe at this but yesterday we started using a stroller. I carried her the first 5 days
everywhere. Yesterday, I started thinking about the airport adventure of later today. Somehow, I do not think it will be humanly possible to
get through the airport to carry her and handle all of our carry on luggage which must include all of her snacks. I will be lucky if the airport
staff does not make me check the snack bag due to the sheer weight of all I will bring for her.
In many ways I feel like I am parenting a child about two years younger than her stated age of 5. Many other adoptive parents will know exactly what I mean. Mia is the size of a three year old and has most developmental skills typical of a child that age too. I am perfectly fine with this. It gives me the chance to parent her at this younger age. Tantrums and all. Speaking of tantrums, they have continued. Although not at the frequency of those first few days. She is figuring us out, and keeping a routine (at least as much as possible while living in a hotel with three kids) helps. Most of the time, her tantrums are not long. At times, distraction will work. Other times, even her shoes come flying! We are all developing some quick reflexes and keeping a sense of humor. We are really having a lot of fun. Mia has a smile that will light up the room and eyes that have reflected pure joy. And her laugh, oh that laugh, should be bottled up and sold. It is so, so cute. And infectious.
As we prepare to leave Guangxi I cannot help but feel it is so bittersweet. My greatest blessings were all born in this place, lived in this place. My family was created in this place. And yet it is time to prepare to go home. In Guangzhou, Mia will have her consulate appointment to become an official US citizen. It is the final leg of our adoption trip. I am ready to get home and begin the new chapter of my life with my new family, but I know as we leave Guangxi later today, a piece of my heart will remain.
Mia loves water. I mean, LOVES water. When we are in the room, she loves to play in the bathtub. She can play with water for hours, mixing bath salts, soaps, and shampoos into cups as if she is doing some type of scientific experiment. She is fearless in the pool, and clearly wants to swim just as her big sisters.
Mia loves food. She eats just about everything, although does have strong preferences, mostly towards candy. We've managed to be out in public and walk by candy stalls without the loud shrieking which happened last week. Along with her love of candy, she LOVES brushing her teeth. Her top three front teeth have visible cavities, so I think her dentist will be happy with the joy she seems to receive with toothbrushing. It makes me feel less guilty for slipping her a piece of candy when she starts the familiar wind up for a tantrum.
Most mornings she says "che fan" which means eat something. If we are still getting ready and she needs to wait, I will offer her a piece of fruit or bread. She will strongly protest. Yet, when we are downstairs for breakfast, she will head over to the fruit and take the same fruit she saw just a few minutes ago. Interesting.
She is quickly learning turn taking. The first few days, if she saw the iPad it would immediately result in a rip out of the hands of whoever was holding it. Now, she can be told "wait" and she will wait for a turn! I love seeing these small strides towards living in a family with two other sisters.
Mia loves Ni Hao Kai Lan. We tried showing her the Little Einsteins for a little variety which resulted in a protest. Right now, Kai Lan is even trumping the Pleasant Goat cartoon which is a favorite of all kids in China.
Mia sleeps well. Thank you God. She will take toys with her to bed, and often fall asleep holding them. The other night, she brought both a
ball and balloon to hold. It was not all that comfortable when I rolled over that ball in the middle of the night! Luckily, I did not roll over the balloon.
I know many attachment gurus would probably cringe at this but yesterday we started using a stroller. I carried her the first 5 days
everywhere. Yesterday, I started thinking about the airport adventure of later today. Somehow, I do not think it will be humanly possible to
get through the airport to carry her and handle all of our carry on luggage which must include all of her snacks. I will be lucky if the airport
staff does not make me check the snack bag due to the sheer weight of all I will bring for her.
In many ways I feel like I am parenting a child about two years younger than her stated age of 5. Many other adoptive parents will know exactly what I mean. Mia is the size of a three year old and has most developmental skills typical of a child that age too. I am perfectly fine with this. It gives me the chance to parent her at this younger age. Tantrums and all. Speaking of tantrums, they have continued. Although not at the frequency of those first few days. She is figuring us out, and keeping a routine (at least as much as possible while living in a hotel with three kids) helps. Most of the time, her tantrums are not long. At times, distraction will work. Other times, even her shoes come flying! We are all developing some quick reflexes and keeping a sense of humor. We are really having a lot of fun. Mia has a smile that will light up the room and eyes that have reflected pure joy. And her laugh, oh that laugh, should be bottled up and sold. It is so, so cute. And infectious.
As we prepare to leave Guangxi I cannot help but feel it is so bittersweet. My greatest blessings were all born in this place, lived in this place. My family was created in this place. And yet it is time to prepare to go home. In Guangzhou, Mia will have her consulate appointment to become an official US citizen. It is the final leg of our adoption trip. I am ready to get home and begin the new chapter of my life with my new family, but I know as we leave Guangxi later today, a piece of my heart will remain.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Market adventures
So, here in Nanning there is a market which my local friends refer to as the senior market. I have been there before many times, and in my silly confidence thought it would be something different to do with the girls. Um, forgot about the fact that my Mandarin skills are only at the toddler level, and I have a new little one who easily surpasses these skills. We get out of the cab, and Mia quickly spots a bagota. Mia loves food. It doesn't matter that she had two bags of M&Ms in the cab. And more food for breakfast than everyone else at the table combined. She knew that bagota meant food. We go over to it and she sees a vat of ramen noodles which she wants. Ok. We get the box. She then sees another one. I tell her bu yao (no), just one. She doesn't like that answer. Screaming starts. Peoples heads whip around. Kate and Lianna tell me "just get the second vat". In my mind, I thought I do not want her eating enough noodles for a family of 8 and tell them no way. Mia continues her screaming "wo yao" I want. People continue to wonder what things this crazy looking woman is doing to this adorable little child. Luckily her tantrums tend to be pretty short lived. She gave up on the second vat of noodles and asked for a lollipop. Sure. By now I know to pick my battles. Looking back I should have just bought the second vat, and given it secretly to someone else when she wasn't looking.
As we entered the market, we found a shoe stall. Next to food, Mia loves shoes. For $4.00 a pair, Mia picked out an adorable pink pair of shoes. Then a red one. Then a pair of sandles. Then a pair of "pleasant goat" baby shoes. Hmmm. Somehow we managed to get out of the shoe stall with only two pairs.
Next we stumble upon the book area. Lots of fun books. She sees the "pleasant goat" again. We buy a book. She asks for more but again I tell her only one in Mandarin. This time, no tantrum and one book.
As we make our way to the back of the market we hit a toy area which I didn't remember from previous years. We pick out one toy. She seems content. Until we pass a sticker stand. She screams "wo yao" (I want). I try to walk as fast as I can by it. Mia is too clever. She has object permanence skills and knows those stickers still existed behind us. I immediately think of all of the stickers we already have in our room. I think about the value of teaching her she cannot have everything she sees. Hmmm, the thought of this just makes me laugh. She has been with us for only 3 days. Next time, I think we will just get the stickers.
Despite these appropriate and expected meltdowns, Mia is doing very, very well. She has repeated her first english words "super" "halloweeen" (they have giant purple pumpkins around Nanning), "trick or treat", "go". This morning she said the girls' names. We are all smitten with this little one, whose favorite words are "wo yao", or "I want".
As we entered the market, we found a shoe stall. Next to food, Mia loves shoes. For $4.00 a pair, Mia picked out an adorable pink pair of shoes. Then a red one. Then a pair of sandles. Then a pair of "pleasant goat" baby shoes. Hmmm. Somehow we managed to get out of the shoe stall with only two pairs.
Next we stumble upon the book area. Lots of fun books. She sees the "pleasant goat" again. We buy a book. She asks for more but again I tell her only one in Mandarin. This time, no tantrum and one book.
As we make our way to the back of the market we hit a toy area which I didn't remember from previous years. We pick out one toy. She seems content. Until we pass a sticker stand. She screams "wo yao" (I want). I try to walk as fast as I can by it. Mia is too clever. She has object permanence skills and knows those stickers still existed behind us. I immediately think of all of the stickers we already have in our room. I think about the value of teaching her she cannot have everything she sees. Hmmm, the thought of this just makes me laugh. She has been with us for only 3 days. Next time, I think we will just get the stickers.
Despite these appropriate and expected meltdowns, Mia is doing very, very well. She has repeated her first english words "super" "halloweeen" (they have giant purple pumpkins around Nanning), "trick or treat", "go". This morning she said the girls' names. We are all smitten with this little one, whose favorite words are "wo yao", or "I want".
Friday, October 28, 2011
Three are now four!!!
We have our sweet Mia who is an absolutely precious little girl!! She arrived at our hotel at 11:00 am yesterday morning. She was initially very (appropriately) cautious and cried when it was time to go up to our room. Once upstairs, she liked playing with bubbles and exploring everything her big sisters wanted to show her. We got smiles from her pretty quickly, at first tiny glimpses and then big smiles especially when we brought her swimming. Mia is speaking in full Mandarin sentences, which makes it a bit challenging due to my toddler level Mandarin language skills. But we are both becoming pretty good at charades.
Mia only uses Mama for me. She appropriately calls all other females "ayi" (auntie) except for Nana who she calls appropriately "waipo" which is grandmother in Chinese. She calls both sisters "Jie Jie". Today, she is already repeating some English words. This little one is quite bright, and yes, little! She fits perfectly into 3t size clothes. She reminds me a lot of my friends' daughter who is from Guangdong and is also a petite little one. She likes to be carried, so being smaller with a petite mom works well.
She really is doing very well which is clearly due to being in foster care with Grace and Hope for Children. There is a sense of confidence that she has, and she clearly understands that people meet her needs. She has had a few quick tantrums which I have been expecting due to the language barrier and all that she has been through in the past 24 hours. She has really liked playing with play dough and markers. She's got a great appetite and doesn't seem too picky yet. All three of the girls didn't sleep too well last night which is likely due to the transition. There were lots of giggles, especially as Mia decided to bring toys to bed.
Today we spent the morning going through the official adoption procedure in Guangxi, and Mia is officially ours. In the past 24 hours my family of 3 has become a family of 4. I couldn't be any happier.
Mia only uses Mama for me. She appropriately calls all other females "ayi" (auntie) except for Nana who she calls appropriately "waipo" which is grandmother in Chinese. She calls both sisters "Jie Jie". Today, she is already repeating some English words. This little one is quite bright, and yes, little! She fits perfectly into 3t size clothes. She reminds me a lot of my friends' daughter who is from Guangdong and is also a petite little one. She likes to be carried, so being smaller with a petite mom works well.
She really is doing very well which is clearly due to being in foster care with Grace and Hope for Children. There is a sense of confidence that she has, and she clearly understands that people meet her needs. She has had a few quick tantrums which I have been expecting due to the language barrier and all that she has been through in the past 24 hours. She has really liked playing with play dough and markers. She's got a great appetite and doesn't seem too picky yet. All three of the girls didn't sleep too well last night which is likely due to the transition. There were lots of giggles, especially as Mia decided to bring toys to bed.
Today we spent the morning going through the official adoption procedure in Guangxi, and Mia is officially ours. In the past 24 hours my family of 3 has become a family of 4. I couldn't be any happier.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Ready
In two days we will be on our way to China. In some ways it seems hard to believe. Is it REALLY going to happen this time? It seems so! Everything is set. Travel approval in hand, consulate appointment confirmed, flights set. Bags (almost) packed. We are giddy with excitement. Four days from now, I will meet my youngest daughter!
How is it possible to have only known her photos for 6 months and to feel such immense love for her??!! And with that same love comes grief. Grief for what she is going to lose...her foster family, her language, her homeland. And yet, joy for what she is going to gain...a family who already cherishes her and a community who has been praying for her arrival.
And so, we are ready. Ready for what lies ahead. Ready to change our lives forever. Ready to bring sweet Mia home.
How is it possible to have only known her photos for 6 months and to feel such immense love for her??!! And with that same love comes grief. Grief for what she is going to lose...her foster family, her language, her homeland. And yet, joy for what she is going to gain...a family who already cherishes her and a community who has been praying for her arrival.
And so, we are ready. Ready for what lies ahead. Ready to change our lives forever. Ready to bring sweet Mia home.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Role reversal
I am a helper by nature. I love helping others more than anything else. I think this is why I love being a parent and helping my children become the people they are meant to become. It is probably also why I love being a pediatric occupational therapist. If the families I am working with need something, I will make it a mission to get it. It is also why I have journeyed back to China each year to assist the orphanage staff with learning to care for the children with special needs in their care.
This year has been a special year for many reasons. One of them, is the unexpected gift of Mia. China had been closed to single parents. For years. There were/are over 1700 kids who are waiting for families in China. The simple fact that China reopened to singles in March, and I found Mia in April is really unbelievable. Miraculous. I wasn't actively looking for a third child. I wasn't prepared financially to adopt a third. But Mia, who is known to Grace and Hope for Children, and the Chinese national friends I partner with each year to do orphanage work, is to be mine. And of the 1700 kids, I was led to her. While working with my Chinese friend in one of the orphanages just 6 weeks ago, she smiled as she told me she has lots of things to share with me about Mia's story once she is adopted. But until then, she told me, just know that "God has chosen the right family for her".
And so, I am in the spot of needing help. We are scheduled to leave in a little over a week and I have to raise some funds. This will be our second trip to China in less than 90 days. My agency did everything possible to try to time it so that Mia could come home in September, when we last returned after our volunteer trip. It wasn't meant to be. I absolutely hate asking for help and had hoped I would not have to.
For any donation (there is a paypal and credit card donate link on this blog page) , we will hold a raffle for a new Monopoly Here and Now: China edition. This is not available in the US. The game is bilingual, in both Chinese and English.
And Mia will do the honor of selecting the raffle winner on November 12th, when we are home.
This year has been a special year for many reasons. One of them, is the unexpected gift of Mia. China had been closed to single parents. For years. There were/are over 1700 kids who are waiting for families in China. The simple fact that China reopened to singles in March, and I found Mia in April is really unbelievable. Miraculous. I wasn't actively looking for a third child. I wasn't prepared financially to adopt a third. But Mia, who is known to Grace and Hope for Children, and the Chinese national friends I partner with each year to do orphanage work, is to be mine. And of the 1700 kids, I was led to her. While working with my Chinese friend in one of the orphanages just 6 weeks ago, she smiled as she told me she has lots of things to share with me about Mia's story once she is adopted. But until then, she told me, just know that "God has chosen the right family for her".
And so, I am in the spot of needing help. We are scheduled to leave in a little over a week and I have to raise some funds. This will be our second trip to China in less than 90 days. My agency did everything possible to try to time it so that Mia could come home in September, when we last returned after our volunteer trip. It wasn't meant to be. I absolutely hate asking for help and had hoped I would not have to.
For any donation (there is a paypal and credit card donate link on this blog page) , we will hold a raffle for a new Monopoly Here and Now: China edition. This is not available in the US. The game is bilingual, in both Chinese and English.
And Mia will do the honor of selecting the raffle winner on November 12th, when we are home.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
China, take 2
A month from today we will return to our beloved China to bring home sweet Mia. Although we had hoped that the adoption would have been possible after we finished with our Knowing Hope trip last month, it wasn't meant to be. What is meant to be is that sweet Mia will know the love and care of a family. Our family.
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