Labor 101

The pain began quickly. The girls and I began labeling our taxi experiences by the driving/driver. Over the trip, we had the singer, smoothy, weaver. Our taxi driver to the Guangzhou airport was a weaver. And tailgater. And frequent stopper/ starter. By 10 minutes into the drive I needed my sea bands. Usually I only need those for the planes. Luckily they worked and we made it to the airport intact. We set off inside the airport to find our check in counter. Found it easy enough. Line wasn't too bad. Got to the clerk. He gave a funny look at the computer, and handed our passports back. Said to call ticket agent. Um, tickets bought online and are etickets. He said there was a problem. Not confirmed. I quickly pulled out the confirmation, and asked that a supervisor come over. Showed the confirmation. We seemed to be getting somewhere. Three boarding passes were printed out and five passports handed back. He then said, "these ones cannot go". Um what? I looked and it was Katelyn and Lianna's passports which had no boarding passes. I showed our ticket confirmation again. Was I seriously being told my two children could not go on the flight, despite the confirmation? Apparently yes. Mama bear came out. I was MAD. Yes, the flight was full ( probably over full) but I would NOT allow my children to be bumped. After an hour, all of us had our boarding passes. Seats not together. I figured people would move. Nope. Mia, on her second flight ever, had to sit behind me. Fortunately, she fell asleep for most of the flight, and only whimpered for the last 15 minutes or so. And at least I could stick my face between the seats and she could see me.
Our overnight in Shanghai was uneventful. We stayed about 15 minutes from the Pudong airport. Arrived at the airport 4 hours before our flight the next day. I hoped to be the first to check in at United/Continental. We were second. We had an awesome ticket clerk who had no problems printing all boarding passes. However, no seats were together again. I can't figure out how people get seat assignments so early! He said not to worry, he would alert the gate crew so we could be together. Thank God for this travel mercy. I cannot imagine flying 13+ hours with my girls spread out all over the plane. When we got to the gate, the wonderful clerk gave us two seats together, and another two together, with one person in between. I prayed this person would change seats. As we ventured to our seats, we found out we had bulkhead seats! Oh, the extra space. And the man sitting in between us smiled and said he would switch seats with me, so I could have 4 seats together. And the man on the other side of Mia had a daughter adopted from China in 2003. He was so gracious as she slept with her feet on his chest, and reminisced about how his daughter screamed the entire flight back to the US. With the exception of one very minor tantrum which lasted less than 2 minutes, Mia either watched cartoons on the personal screen or slept.
It was so, so good to land in Chicago and have Mia become the latest US citizen. Immigration officials were pleasant and welcoming. They took our big brown envelope, and congratulated me.
For our final flight, we were again seated scattered around the plane. And once again, the ticket clerk had mercy and put three seats together in the bulkhead. The other two seats (for my mom and Katelyn) were a few rows behind us. We were all exhausted and slept this last leg of the travel until arriving in Boston.
So now, the labor is over. We are home. We are jet lagged and feel like we have been hit by the weaver taxi driver. But we are home. The labor was worth it. And we are home. Home with our sweet girl. It feels so good.

Heading home!

Later today, we will begin our long trek home. I am more than ready, although have some dread over the travel to come. Don't get me wrong, I love China with all my heart. It is why I have come each year for the past 8 years to volunteer my skills as a pediatric OT in the orphanages of Guangxi. But the adoption trips are MUCH different. These trips are hard. It is labor. And the flight home can be torture.
I have strategically planned for an overnight flight (China time overnight). Instead of flying from Hong Kong as most families do (which leave around 10:00am), we leave from Shanghai. Our flight time is 5:00pm. We will head to Shanghai later today and stay overnight, with the flight back to the US tomorrow. I am just praying Mia sleeps. She has a real hard time falling asleep at night. Sometimes it takes an hour. Yesterday, even without a nap, it took 45 minutes. Luckily there are the personal TV's for each seat on the flight. Mia likes the TV to sleep to. When I turn it off, she climbs up to it to turn it on. None of us are used to falling asleep to a TV. She will be in for a shock when we get home and discovers there is not a TV in the bedroom. I will not back down on that one either.
Yesterday was an interesting adventure to the mall due to another rainy day. We discovered Papa Johns, which tastes just like it does in the US. There is something about giant sized objects here in China. Our waitress asked me if we wanted a "baby chair" for Mia. Yes. She comes back with the "baby chair" which my dad could fit in. Seriously, it was enormous. The only difference between it and an adult chair was that it was about 6 inches higher and had a wooden bar across the front. When Mia sat with her back against the back rest, she was 2 feet from the table. I wish I had my camera with me. It was the funniest high chair I have ever seen.
There was only one tantrum yesterday which was over.....candy. Lianna's candy. Which Mia wanted. It didn't matter that she finished hers and that Lianna offered her some of what she had. She wanted the whole package for herself. Um I said no. She shrieked. People's heads whipped around and everyone glared at what I was doing to this sweet, innocent, little one. A woman came over to speak to her. She continued to scream. Poor Lianna was ready to just give her the M&Ms to which I told her no way. Mia needs to unlearn that tantrums get her what she wants. We were told that she was often given what she wanted if she tantrummed when she was in the orphanage. She's learned this skill to get her needs met. But now it is time to unlearn this. So, we ignored her tantrum and the stares of everyone else in the mall. I picked here up and told her I know it is hard when she wants something. The tantrum stopped. Lianna shared some M&Ms and everyone was happy again.
So today we are preparing to leave our beloved China. It is time. We are ready. Let the adventure begin!

Rainy Guangzhou

This was the first day of rain we have had since arriving in China. It rained all day, although was still pretty mild. We decided to go out despite the rain, since hotel confinement is quite boring to both adults and kids. Each room is equipped with an umbrella, which comes in handy on days like today. We also asked the concierge for an extra umbrella, given that there are five of us including Nana. The concierge has the largest umbrellas we have ever seen. Made Mary Poppins umbrella flight seem possible given the right wind conditions. We decided to venture across the busy street by using a people overpass, stroller, umbrellas, and all. On the other side of the street was a large friendship store which we quickly walked past. We then stumbled upon a Trust Mart, which seemed like a Wal Mart knock off. We needed bottled water, and the trusty Trust Mart seemed to be the best place to look for it. As we walked through the doors it quickly became apparent that this experience could resemble our Nanning senior market experience. Vats of noodles everywhere. Candy everywhere. Appealing children toys everywhere. There was no turning back, we were already inside and my little one's eyes were wide. She spied some type of dried fruit. Runs to it, and comes running back to me holding up her one little finger and telling me in Chinese, "only one Mama". Could this be too good to be true?? She sees some dried chicken feet (which we learned at breakfast that she loves), I tell her in English, "not today" and she happily walks on by. This continued through the store. Some things she wanted, which seemed reasonable so I said yes, and she only took one. Or she got three, and gave one to each of her sisters. What? Was I dreaming? No. My girl is settling in. She is understanding a simple shopping experience and what it means.
Later this afternoon, Mia and I ventured back to the US consulate to pick up her "big brown envelope" which goes to the immigration officer when we arrive on US soil in Chicago on Friday. We also have her visa, which allows her to enter the country. As far as both countries are concerned, the adoption is complete. After 7 months, Mia is mine. She is no longer an orphan waiting for a family. She has her family and her family has her. All I can do is give thanks to the One who made this all possible...who led me to become a mother for the third time...and who asked me to trust in Him to make my path straight.

Paperwork done!

Today, at our consulate appointment, the final paperwork for Mia's adoption was submitted for the US govt. Tomorrow, she will receive her visa to enter the US and becomes a US citizen automatically when we touch down after the long flight from Shanghai to Chicago. It seems hard to believe that the paper chase for this adoption is done! It is a good feeling.
Mia had a bit of a breakthrough today. Maybe we all did. After coming back from the consulate, she took her second bath of the day. It was 10:30 am. When finished, she spotted her carefully hidden bathing suit. The girl has hawk eyes. She excitedly comes out with it, however, the other girls wanted lunch. There would be no way for a quick swim. I told her no, we needed to go for lunch. She gave the familiar stomp and hmmm, refusing to move her little feet. The older girls went into the hallway. My mom started practicing her yoga moves in the hall. I mentioned that I might need to get her, which would result in a tantrum. My mom reminded me that the tantrums ar much shorter now. Mia looked at me and closed the bedroom door. After giving her a minute, I opened the door slowly, figuring i would get the tantrum over with. But, this sweet little one had taken her bathing suit off and put her dress on. In was shocked. What I thought would be a battle turned into an amazing moment as she wrapped her little arms around me. I told her we would swim after lunch, which she seemed to understand. And off we went for lunch.
So to say that my little one is doing well is an understatement. Adoption trips are not easy. Living in hotels, figuring out communication (especially with an older child), and trying to establish a routine and consistency to help ease the new child's fear is next to impossible. The child comes to the adoptive family losing EVERYTHING she has ever known. She has every right to be scared, mad, and sad. Adoption trips are about surviving. And yet, Mia is joyful most of the time now. She wants a hug when she is upset. She puts her little hand against the elevator door until everyone is in. She offers her food to her sisters. And today, despite her desire to swim, she changed her clothes when she realized her family wanted to eat.
This special little one has completely stolen my heart. The US is gaining one amazing new citizen with little Mia!!!!

Safari park day

Today we decided to venture to the safari park here in Guangzhou. I have heard a lot about it, all positive and highly recommended. We looked for a taxi outside our hotel, trying to find one without a TV playing in the back seat as Miss Mia has the tendency towards carsickness. Luckily, we found one with a broken TV and were on our way only to find out that we had a special singing driver! He sang to us most of the way to the park. Mostly in Chinese, although he did do a rendition of Barney "I love you, you love me". That was a bit odd.
The safari park was all that others have said. Absolutely amazing. It is the best "zoo" experience I have ever had. Mia loved the monkeys, quickly repeating that English word over and over. Monkeys hanging and playing from trees. They looked so happy. I liked the kangaroos, especially the one mama who carried her baby head first in her pouch so that the tail and hind legs were the part sticking out. Every once in while it would kick it's legs but never did end up righting itself while we were there. The other really fun part was riding the train through the safari wilderness. It was nothing like we've ever experienced.
Mia did exceptionally well at the park. No tantrums over food. Only one minor meltdown when she was told she couldn't climb up on a fence after watching another boy do it. She seems to be understanding more English and continues to talk to us in Chinese as if we understand everything.
We clearly are very under dressed when compared to the locals here. It was 90 degrees today and most had on long sleeves and long pants. Ok, maybe it was 88. We, on the other hand, are sporting our summer dresses. Even Mia will not put on her sweater anymore which I diligently carry around. We get lots of stares, which I know is not only because I am Caucasian walking around with three gorgeous Chinese girls. It is because of the lack of clothing on their bodies!
Mia continues to love her bath play, much to my relief after coming back from the safari park. Sunday at the safari park proved to be very, very busy! And Mia is not a huge fan of purell. This could be a bit of a problem for me, given my love of the stuff, especially when in public places. She has been watching the rest of us slathering in it, but has yet to put her hands out. She doesn't mind the germ x wipes I had brought, but I am down to the last few of those.
Our time in China is passing so quickly. It is hard to believe we will head home in 5 days. Mia's medical examination went well, including the TB test which is required for all children over age 2. She protested briefly, and then seemed happy that the nurse offered candy. I am not sure it would have gone as well if she offered her a banana after the injection. The test proved to be negative and we now have all of the necessary papers to give to the adoption unit here in Guangzhou. Tomorrow we will head to the US consulate for the final processing of the
US phase of the adoption so that she will automatically become a US citizen when we touch down in Chicago.
When we began this process back in April it was hard to picture this day, at the safari park, bring stared at for our under dressing, as I walked around with the three most goregous little girls in the world.

In Guangzhou

We have made it to Guangzhou and it feels like a completely new experience. We are staying in luxury, as in platinum five star luxury. Nothing like I have ever experienced. This is the Garden Hotel which my agency places families in as they wait for the US consulate appointment. Back in 2002 when I adopted Katelyn, the hotel of choice for adopting families was the White Swan. The Garden makes the White Swan look like a simple 3 star hotel. Luckily there are other adoptive families here as I worry that a stray marker mark would tarnish the hotel appearance.
Mia handled her first airport experience like a champ. Of course, our flight from Nanning to Guangzhou was delayed. We arrived at the airport with 30 minutes before takeoff only to find that there was some type of "air traffic" problem. Delayed for one hour. Dinner time. Newly adopted child, obsessed with food, prone to tantrums. But God is good and vats of noodles were everywhere along with boiling water. Mia was in her glory. We chose a vat of noodles, prepared it, only to find that she wanted the red vat of noodles. We bought the green vat. But, I have learned that there is no sense reasoning with the child who wants the red vat noodles. I decided to spend the 50 cents to get the red vat. No tantrums, happy child.
Mia found security in her stroller in the airport. She rides in the stroller with her shoes off. Each time she needed to go to the bathroom, she would happily put her shoes on only to remove them again as she climbed back in. I have used strollers before through airports when my older girls were younger. It is nice to bring them right to the doorway of the plane, and then have it waiting when leaving the flight. So, we head down to the plane, Mia gets out, causes a line as she sits down to put her shoes on. We get ready to go on board, and I ask the attendant where to leave the stroller. He gestures to bring it on the plane. What? Yes, wheel it on the plane. We find our seats and the flight attendant helps to put it under our feet. So, we all buckle up, put our bags under the seat in front of us, and put the stoller under our feet. The flight itself was uneventful except for the fact that Mia does not like seat belts. She has never used them before. She humored us all for about 20 minutes before deciding it needed to come off. Luckily, the flight attendants came by frequently and made sure it stayed on. Also, I think the 10 pieces of gum helped. We discovered she loves gum. The good sugarless gum we brought from home. If she began to fuss about the seatbelt, I would quickly pull out the gum and she would forget about the seatbelt. Now we cannot even say the word gum as she knows what it means.
We are settled in this fancy hotel for the next week, before making the trek home. I think I will need to find some more gum!

Mia musings

We've now been in Nanning for a week, and head to Guangzhou tonight for the next phase of the adoption. Mia has been with us for 6 days now. It is hard to picture our lives before her. She has jumped right in and hasn't looked back.
Mia loves water. I mean, LOVES water. When we are in the room, she loves to play in the bathtub. She can play with water for hours, mixing bath salts, soaps, and shampoos into cups as if she is doing some type of scientific experiment. She is fearless in the pool, and clearly wants to swim just as her big sisters.
Mia loves food. She eats just about everything, although does have strong preferences, mostly towards candy. We've managed to be out in public and walk by candy stalls without the loud shrieking which happened last week. Along with her love of candy, she LOVES brushing her teeth. Her top three front teeth have visible cavities, so I think her dentist will be happy with the joy she seems to receive with toothbrushing. It makes me feel less guilty for slipping her a piece of candy when she starts the familiar wind up for a tantrum.
Most mornings she says "che fan" which means eat something. If we are still getting ready and she needs to wait, I will offer her a piece of fruit or bread. She will strongly protest. Yet, when we are downstairs for breakfast, she will head over to the fruit and take the same fruit she saw just a few minutes ago. Interesting.
She is quickly learning turn taking. The first few days, if she saw the iPad it would immediately result in a rip out of the hands of whoever was holding it. Now, she can be told "wait" and she will wait for a turn! I love seeing these small strides towards living in a family with two other sisters.
Mia loves Ni Hao Kai Lan. We tried showing her the Little Einsteins for a little variety which resulted in a protest. Right now, Kai Lan is even trumping the Pleasant Goat cartoon which is a favorite of all kids in China.
Mia sleeps well. Thank you God. She will take toys with her to bed, and often fall asleep holding them. The other night, she brought both a
ball and balloon to hold. It was not all that comfortable when I rolled over that ball in the middle of the night! Luckily, I did not roll over the balloon.
I know many attachment gurus would probably cringe at this but yesterday we started using a stroller. I carried her the first 5 days
everywhere. Yesterday, I started thinking about the airport adventure of later today. Somehow, I do not think it will be humanly possible to
get through the airport to carry her and handle all of our carry on luggage which must include all of her snacks. I will be lucky if the airport
staff does not make me check the snack bag due to the sheer weight of all I will bring for her.
In many ways I feel like I am parenting a child about two years younger than her stated age of 5. Many other adoptive parents will know exactly what I mean. Mia is the size of a three year old and has most developmental skills typical of a child that age too. I am perfectly fine with this. It gives me the chance to parent her at this younger age. Tantrums and all. Speaking of tantrums, they have continued. Although not at the frequency of those first few days. She is figuring us out, and keeping a routine (at least as much as possible while living in a hotel with three kids) helps. Most of the time, her tantrums are not long. At times, distraction will work. Other times, even her shoes come flying! We are all developing some quick reflexes and keeping a sense of humor. We are really having a lot of fun. Mia has a smile that will light up the room and eyes that have reflected pure joy. And her laugh, oh that laugh, should be bottled up and sold. It is so, so cute. And infectious.
As we prepare to leave Guangxi I cannot help but feel it is so bittersweet. My greatest blessings were all born in this place, lived in this place. My family was created in this place. And yet it is time to prepare to go home. In Guangzhou, Mia will have her consulate appointment to become an official US citizen. It is the final leg of our adoption trip. I am ready to get home and begin the new chapter of my life with my new family, but I know as we leave Guangxi later today, a piece of my heart will remain.

Market adventures

So, here in Nanning there is a market which my local friends refer to as the senior market. I have been there before many times, and in my silly confidence thought it would be something different to do with the girls. Um, forgot about the fact that my Mandarin skills are only at the toddler level, and I have a new little one who easily surpasses these skills. We get out of the cab, and Mia quickly spots a bagota. Mia loves food. It doesn't matter that she had two bags of M&Ms in the cab. And more food for breakfast than everyone else at the table combined. She knew that bagota meant food. We go over to it and she sees a vat of ramen noodles which she wants. Ok. We get the box. She then sees another one. I tell her bu yao (no), just one. She doesn't like that answer. Screaming starts. Peoples heads whip around. Kate and Lianna tell me "just get the second vat". In my mind, I thought I do not want her eating enough noodles for a family of 8 and tell them no way. Mia continues her screaming "wo yao" I want. People continue to wonder what things this crazy looking woman is doing to this adorable little child. Luckily her tantrums tend to be pretty short lived. She gave up on the second vat of noodles and asked for a lollipop. Sure. By now I know to pick my battles. Looking back I should have just bought the second vat, and given it secretly to someone else when she wasn't looking.
As we entered the market, we found a shoe stall. Next to food, Mia loves shoes. For $4.00 a pair, Mia picked out an adorable pink pair of shoes. Then a red one. Then a pair of sandles. Then a pair of "pleasant goat" baby shoes. Hmmm. Somehow we managed to get out of the shoe stall with only two pairs.
Next we stumble upon the book area. Lots of fun books. She sees the "pleasant goat" again. We buy a book. She asks for more but again I tell her only one in Mandarin. This time, no tantrum and one book.
As we make our way to the back of the market we hit a toy area which I didn't remember from previous years. We pick out one toy. She seems content. Until we pass a sticker stand. She screams "wo yao" (I want). I try to walk as fast as I can by it. Mia is too clever. She has object permanence skills and knows those stickers still existed behind us. I immediately think of all of the stickers we already have in our room. I think about the value of teaching her she cannot have everything she sees. Hmmm, the thought of this just makes me laugh. She has been with us for only 3 days. Next time, I think we will just get the stickers.
Despite these appropriate and expected meltdowns, Mia is doing very, very well. She has repeated her first english words "super" "halloweeen" (they have giant purple pumpkins around Nanning), "trick or treat", "go". This morning she said the girls' names. We are all smitten with this little one, whose favorite words are "wo yao", or "I want".

Three are now four!!!

We have our sweet Mia who is an absolutely precious little girl!! She arrived at our hotel at 11:00 am yesterday morning. She was initially very (appropriately) cautious and cried when it was time to go up to our room. Once upstairs, she liked playing with bubbles and exploring everything her big sisters wanted to show her. We got smiles from her pretty quickly, at first tiny glimpses and then big smiles especially when we brought her swimming. Mia is speaking in full Mandarin sentences, which makes it a bit challenging due to my toddler level Mandarin language skills. But we are both becoming pretty good at charades.
Mia only uses Mama for me. She appropriately calls all other females "ayi" (auntie) except for Nana who she calls appropriately "waipo" which is grandmother in Chinese. She calls both sisters "Jie Jie". Today, she is already repeating some English words. This little one is quite bright, and yes, little! She fits perfectly into 3t size clothes. She reminds me a lot of my friends' daughter who is from Guangdong and is also a petite little one. She likes to be carried, so being smaller with a petite mom works well.
She really is doing very well which is clearly due to being in foster care with Grace and Hope for Children. There is a sense of confidence that she has, and she clearly understands that people meet her needs. She has had a few quick tantrums which I have been expecting due to the language barrier and all that she has been through in the past 24 hours. She has really liked playing with play dough and markers. She's got a great appetite and doesn't seem too picky yet. All three of the girls didn't sleep too well last night which is likely due to the transition. There were lots of giggles, especially as Mia decided to bring toys to bed.
Today we spent the morning going through the official adoption procedure in Guangxi, and Mia is officially ours. In the past 24 hours my family of 3 has become a family of 4. I couldn't be any happier.

Ready

In two days we will be on our way to China. In some ways it seems hard to believe. Is it REALLY going to happen this time? It seems so! Everything is set. Travel approval in hand, consulate appointment confirmed, flights set. Bags (almost) packed. We are giddy with excitement. Four days from now, I will meet my youngest daughter!
How is it possible to have only known her photos for 6 months and to feel such immense love for her??!! And with that same love comes grief. Grief for what she is going to lose...her foster family, her language, her homeland. And yet, joy for what she is going to gain...a family who already cherishes her and a community who has been praying for her arrival.
And so, we are ready. Ready for what lies ahead. Ready to change our lives forever. Ready to bring sweet Mia home.

Role reversal

I am a helper by nature. I love helping others more than anything else. I think this is why I love being a parent and helping my children become the people they are meant to become. It is probably also why I love being a pediatric occupational therapist. If the families I am working with need something, I will make it a mission to get it. It is also why I have journeyed back to China each year to assist the orphanage staff with learning to care for the children with special needs in their care.
This year has been a special year for many reasons. One of them, is the unexpected gift of Mia. China had been closed to single parents. For years. There were/are over 1700 kids who are waiting for families in China. The simple fact that China reopened to singles in March, and I found Mia in April is really unbelievable. Miraculous. I wasn't actively looking for a third child. I wasn't prepared financially to adopt a third. But Mia, who is known to Grace and Hope for Children, and the Chinese national friends I partner with each year to do orphanage work, is to be mine. And of the 1700 kids, I was led to her. While working with my Chinese friend in one of the orphanages just 6 weeks ago, she smiled as she told me she has lots of things to share with me about Mia's story once she is adopted. But until then, she told me, just know that "God has chosen the right family for her".
And so, I am in the spot of needing help. We are scheduled to leave in a little over a week and I have to raise some funds. This will be our second trip to China in less than 90 days. My agency did everything possible to try to time it so that Mia could come home in September, when we last returned after our volunteer trip. It wasn't meant to be. I absolutely hate asking for help and had hoped I would not have to.
For any donation (there is a paypal and credit card donate link on this blog page) , we will hold a raffle for a new Monopoly Here and Now: China edition. This is not available in the US. The game is bilingual, in both Chinese and English.









And Mia will do the honor of selecting the raffle winner on November 12th, when we are home.

China, take 2

A month from today we will return to our beloved China to bring home sweet Mia. Although we had hoped that the adoption would have been possible after we finished with our Knowing Hope trip last month, it wasn't meant to be. What is meant to be is that sweet Mia will know the love and care of a family. Our family.

Inching forward

We've been in China now for several weeks as part of Knowing Hope's trip to help orphans with special needs and those caring for them. It's been an amazing trip, and I have learned many valuable lessons.
Our paperwork hit a bit of a snafu, although all seems to be coming slowly back on track...and because of hurricane Irene we are still here waiting.
We will likely travel back to Nanning later this week, in anticipation of receiving Mia in the next few weeks :)
Stay tuned!

Miracles

Today I experienced a miracle. My LOA, the next piece of paper in the trail of adoption papers, was received from China. The wait for this paper is often agonizing, with some waiting months and months.
My dossier left for China July 1, 2011. I was logged in a week later. To receive LOA today is nothing short of a miracle. One that I am eternally grateful for!!

"See, God did it"

We are officially approved by USCIS to bring home a 3rd daughter from China!!! My agency has just emailed me the news, and will be working quickly to send my dossier to China!!! On Monday, I was fingerprinted. I prayed that my fingerprints would not be rejected and need to be retaken. Last night, the girls and I prayed that the I800A would be issues soon. And now, as I told my sweet 6 year old sitting next to me that it was issued, she confidently replied "see, God did it" And indeed He had :)

A sweet surprise!

I received some precious photos of my sweet girl. Anyone who has adopted knows what a gift photos are during the long wait. Photos where we can get a glimpse into what life is like for our children as we dream to get them home. Photos to let us know that our children are ok as they wait for us to come get them.




I LOVE Mia's little hint of a smile, and the shine in her eyes.




I wonder what she is thinking.



And can't wait for the day when I can see a huge grin on her beautiful face.

Blessed and lucky

There are some days when all I can do is sit back and wonder how did I ever become so blessed and lucky? My older daughter, now 9, said today how much she can't wait to get Mia. It was honest and from her heart. She can't understand why it is taking so long. If it is so hard for me as an adult to wait, how much harder it must be for my girls who at 9 and 6 can't understand how these processes work. Our documents have gone to the USCIS and we are waiting for the fingerprint appointment and to then be approved by the US government to bring home a child...our Mia. This phase alone can take up to 90 days. The girls are already arguing over who will sit next to her on our flights home. I keep trying to remind them we've got a lot longer to wait before we will be flying home.
As my sweet girls prepare and wonder about their youngest sister each day, I grieve that another day has passed that Mia isn't home. Time is such a funny thing, it's something I wish would slow down right now as the girls get older and yet it's something I wish would pass more quickly so that we can all be together.
How is it even possible that I can be given the gift of another daughter from China? From the same area of China which stole my heart twice before! From the part of China which has come to feel like a second home for me, and has been the first home for 3 precious little girls. From the same area of the country where we go back with Knowing Hope (www.knowinghope.blogspot.com). China hasn't even been open to single parents for adoption again for more than a few months. How is it that this sweet little girl, to be named Mia Aona had still been waiting? And that the waiting child coordinator with the agency which allowed me to be a mother for the first time could help me bring her home? That I could get pre-approval from China within 4 working days. There is only one explanation. I am one person who is enormously blessed and lucky. And for that, I am so incredibly grateful.

The agony of waiting

The waiting in adoption is hard. Once the decision is made to adopt, and a match is made, the wait becomes excruciating. I learned of Mia on April 2nd. Ten days later, I was matched to her with the pre-approval by the CCAA. The waiting has been hard. Really hard. My social worker has finished my homestudy in record time. The draft is done. But, the form we sent to one state I lived in at age 27 was returned as incorrect to release the background check to a third party. I quickly sent the correct form to the state by overnight mail on Tuesday. Hopefully, it will arrive to my agency on Monday and I can submit the homestudy and other necessary paperwork to the USCIS for official approval. The wait for USCIS approval is said to be up to 90 days. My prayer is for Mia to be home before the end of 2011.

Mia is all I can think about. She is in my thoughts when I am awake and when I am asleep. I study every detail of her photos. I wish she could come home right now. A dear friend has said that in many ways adoption parallels pregnancy. There is waiting in pregnancy too. But, the main difference is the level of peace, since in pregnancy the unborn child is with the mother at all times. In adoption, the child is not with the mother until adoption day. This makes waiting, and the sense of peace, much harder. Being in the adoption process for the 3rd time in 10 years reminded me of this. The unrest. The yearning to be with the child. The desire to move all mountains and make time pass quickly until that day comes.

And then, in the wee hours of the morning, as I awoke thinking of Mia, my heart stopped. Some children have been waiting YEARS for the announcement that they now have parents who have chosen them. That they have a mom, or dad, or both to finally call their own. In China alone, there are children on the special focus list who have been waiting since 2009. Two years! And I am rediculously complaining about the agony of waiting 1 month!
It certainly puts things into perspective. The following children are just a few of the nearly 2000 who are currently waiting in China for their parents to find them.








Creating a family through adoption is not for the faint of heart. It is hard. Agonizing at times. But is must be even harder for those children who continue to wait....

The story of Mia

There are currently over 1500 children waiting for families on the waiting kids list. Some kids have been waiting a long, long time for a family to call their own. Two weeks ago, I learned about a little girl, now 4 year old, who has been waiting on this list for a year and a half for her family to find her. Her eyes reached into my soul, and as I looked at her sweet face I wondered, is she mine? I prayed. I asked Him to speak loudly and clearly, since sometimes I am a bit thick. He answered. Loudly. Clearly. She was meant for me, and for my girls who will be her big sisters.
I wrote my letter to the central agency in China which matches families together. Four working days later, I received a YES!
I was not expecting this. China had been closed to single parents until just last month. When I learned about the re-opening, I thought maybe in a few years. Maybe. But God has a sense of humor. I am meant to adopt NOW, not in a few years. Mia is waiting now.
Mia lives in the same area of China where my other 2 daughters were born. Just another red thread that connects us all together as a family.
The paperchase is on again. I am just as excited this third time around as I was for the first and second. My homestudy has started and the mad dash to get all of the papers to China has begun. Mia's been waiting and needs to come home soon. We all are so excited to have her join our family.
And today, there is one child less who waits for her family.